Chazz's Crazy Dream Or Not
by NightmareGlitter
Summary: Chazz wakes up in a world where Zane has long, green hair, students cross dress, and Crowler is the dictator of a utopia! RxR. Oneshot, drabble.


-1This is just a bunch of drabble, but I think it's kinda funny. It's a Chazz story, as usual, but he's only the main character. Crowler/Cronos is the one causing all the mayhem. I hope you enjoy my badly-written story! No flames please. It's really not to be taken seriously. Constructive criticism is ok.

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Loud, annoying folk music blasted through the halls of the obelisk boys dorm. Chazz Princeton seized his pillow and used it to cover his ears, hoping to block it. It soon grew worse as the song switched to the annoying polka diddy "The Chicken Dance" by Stoopid. Chazz screamed above the noise, and turned his own stereo on, hoping to drown the racket out with the sweet, electric melody of Guns 'N' Roses. It was to no avail.

As if a battle of the recorded bands, the music, a-hem, noise grew increasingly louder until plaster crumbled from the ceiling. Chazz gave up the fight and turned his music off. He stepped out into the hall to confront this criminal, who was practicing sacrilege and blasphemy to music lovers everywhere.

As soon as he opened the door, the sound drove him back in his room. Covering his ears, he struggled down the hall until he came to Zane's door.

"Zane, what the hell is that?!" he screamed over the music. "Turn it off!"

There was no response, or if there was one, Chazz didn't hear it.

"I SAID TURN THAT CRAP OFF!!!!!!!" he shouted.

He screamed this several times until his voice grew hoarse. Finally, he kicked open the door. He gawked at the scene before him.

Zane stood half-naked on his bed, wearing tight black leather pants and a green, braided wig. He held his hands up, one formed in the symbol for love, and the other hand formed in the symbol for rock. He was head banging to the fast paced noise.

"OH, HI, CHAZZ. WANNA JOIN ME?"

"NO!!!! THAT MUSIC SUCKS!!!! TURN IT OFF, IT'S FOUR-THIRTY IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!"

Zane shook his head, signaling that he hadn't understood a word Chazz had spoken. Chazz stepped over to the stereo, and tried to turn the knob down. Zane snarled at him, then, leaping off the bed, his body outlined in a black shadow by the light above, came crashing down, body slamming Chazz. Chazz struggled to get out from under him, but he was pinned to the floor. Zane began to yell at him. Chazz wasn't sure what he was saying, but he was pretty sure it was a flurry of profanity.

Just then, the song switched to the Kim Possible theme song. Zane leapt off of Chazz and began to sing along in a high-pitched screech, completely butchering the lyrics and going completely off key. As Zane began to walk it out, Chazz darted out the door, wide-eyed.

"What's gotten into--whoa." He stared in horror at his redneck lackey, whom he referred to 'fondly' as "The Southern Geek."

"What are you doing?"

'The Southern Geek' was painting a mural of a Louisiana bayou on the hallway wall. Except he was using hot pink and fluorescent yellow as his color palate.

"Why, hello, ther', Ch-yazz." he bellowed in his annoying hillbilly accent, "Why, I'm jes' paintin' this hyer wall over hyer. I dun' thought it was kinda ornery lookin'. Dontcha think, Ch-yazz?"

"Um, why don't you do something productive, like paint my face on the wall?"

His toady shook his head sadly. "I'm 'fraid I cain't do that, Ch-yazz. Crowler's orders."

"What the--you're supposed to me working for The Chazz."

"Well, ever since Crowler dun' banned propaganda, I hain't been able to work fer ya. 'Member?"

"Uhhhhhh, not really." Honestly, the poor redneck didn't know what he was talking about. It must be some disease associated with living in a cabin and eating 'possum stew.

Suddenly, an alarm went off. The sirens' decibels measure higher than Zane's stereo.

"WHAT IS THAT?" Chazz yelled above the screaming sirens.

"THE SUMMONING!!!!" shouted the 'Southern Geek' in panic, "OH, CH-YAZZ, WHAT'RE WE GUNTA DO? IT'S THE SUMMONING!!!!!!!"

He ran down the hall, hands raised high in the air, screaming about 'the summoning,' whatever the hell that was. People began to stick their heads out of dorm rooms. Soon, obelisk residents were running screaming, panicking, and sobbing around the halls, bumping into one another. Chaos ensued.

"What's going on now?" Chazz wondered. Then, he screamed as Crowler's face appeared on a large TV screen in the hall.

"All students, report to the gym. That is all." Dr. Crowler cackled as best he could in his thin, girly voice.

Whimpering, the obelisk population streamed out of the dorm, then to the gym, holding onto one another.

Once in the gym, everyone was packed together in tight formation. Knees shook, teeth chattered, bladders released contained liquid.

"Ewww." Chazz muttered, stepping away from the guy standing next to him.

All eyes shifted in his direction. A unanimous "Shhhh" echoed through the gym. Chazz gulped under the uncomfortable pressure of thousands of oppressive, disapproving glares. The sounding of a pathetic trumpet dismissed their attention from him.

Suddenly, the entire student body dropped to their knees, their heads bowed as if in desperate prayer. Chazz's head whipped around wildly as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"Get down," Alexis hissed to him.

He stared at her. She was looked like she was a member of the Middle Eastern Dance Club, wearing a sheer, sky blue, chiffon, midriff shirt and baggy, blue silken pants. As Chazz looked around, he noticed that all the girls were dressed in a similar manner. He stared at some of the boys, who, instead of uniforms, now wore various women's clothing. Zane came in, still wearing the leather pants and the green wig.

A spotlight fell on a rose covered balcony high above the gym. After a long drum role, Dr. Crowler burst out of the crimson, velvet curtains, his arms outstretched, blowing kisses as a heroic symphony told of his great accomplishments.

A wild cry that resembled a thousand fangirls arose from his/her audience. Dr. Crowler smiled and waved. A banner with his face embroidered on it fell from the ceiling. Pink confetti with glitter fluttered down on the eager students.

"I proudly present to you, my darling fans," Dr. Crowler shrieked dramatically, "the new flag of our establishment."

Chazz stared in horror as Dr. Crowler stepped aside to further reveal the banner. Two men dressed in pink tutus, black elbow length gloves, and glittering black feathers perched atop their heads gestured towards it.

Inscribed beneath Crowler's face was the motto "Raise the flags, the pride of out homosexuality, in order to better a people and form a utopian society."

"Brethren," Dr. Crowler whined, "I give you, Crowlertopia!"

A shriek of wild applause and whistles waved through the gym. Dr. Crowler bowed, then gestured for the applause to end.

"As your dictator, and as your guide to a perfect life, I now require the sacrifice of one male from the crowd. Come now, don't be shy."

His greedy eyes scanned the crowd as he giggled sneakily. "You there, Atticus Rhodes, come back to my office." He beckoned at Atticus with a finger.

Chazz's mouth dropped as Atticus, now dressed in a white, sparkling evening dress and silver heels followed Crowler to the back.

"What's he doing? Is he gonna eat him?" Chazz asked.

"No," Alexis told him, turning around, and looking disgusted, "Dr. Crowler needs a daily sacrifice. This means that one male from the obelisk dorm must sacrifice his virginity to him every day. It's procedural, duh. Besides, you were the sacrifice yesterday, remember?"

Chazz stifled a scream. "What?! But I---wait, Atticus is a virgin?"

"Where's your uniform?"

"Um, I-I-I-"

At that moment, a timer began to count down, and the students of Duel Academy began to chant the really long motto. Chazz only stood there, gawking at the clock. When it hit zero, a pink neon signed flipped around from the wall. On it was the outline of a boy smiling, his thumb jutted up in approval. It read: "Another satisfied customer." Everyone cheered.

Just then, a loud buzzing went off and wouldn't stop. Chazz tried to find the source, but failed. As it really began to annoy him, his eyes popped open.

"Whew, it was only a dream."

He looked around the room, seeing it was as he'd left it. His eye caught something in the corner. He screamed, seeing what it was, and ran into the bathroom, locking himself in. It was a picture of him in a glittering fuchsia fairy costume sitting on Dr. Crowler's lap. It read: "Another satisfied customer."

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Ok, that was serious drabble. Anyway, I hope you found it amusing. Please RxR, even if it's constructive criticism. As long as you don't flame me, I don't care.


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